Unnecessary Headlines: Couples Edition

Hands down, the couple of the moment is Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston. Johnston, 19, has decided to unleash holy hell on the Palin clan, starting with his assertion on CBS This Morning that the then-Governor used to refer to her downs syndrome child as “retarded.” Oy. This, just days before he stretches out for his full frontal nudity photoshoot for Playgirl Magazine. Meanwhile, this week, in between her public denials of Johnston’s probable truths, it was revealed that Sarah received $1.5 million in advance for her memoirs, before she resigned. I can’t help wondering whatever happened to Bristol. After he had Levi’s baby, she appeared on morning talk shows promoting abstinence for teens. Then she disappeared. Those zany Palins. It’s always something, isn’t it?

Coming in second in our couples of the week are Lou Dobb and Geraldo Rivera (below, right). CNN’s Dobbs (left) has been sounding crazier and crazier lately. Who knew? Until recently, Dobbs sort of blended in with the wallpaper. Lately he keeps making odd headlines. Much of it has to do with verbal jabs from Rivera, who essentially called Dobbs out for racism, when he said Dobbs demeaned all Hispanics by his negative comments regarding immigration. Calling Dobbs a “hatemonger,” Rivera believes Dobbs has painted young Latin men trying to get into this country as “a profoundly negative icon.” Later in the week, for his part, Dobbs responded, “"My house has been shot and hit . . . and you know what, I'm not in the mood to put up with little fools like Geraldo Rivera.” Dobbs claims someone shot at his house, while his wife was standing outside, implying that he is now a target since Rivera made his claims. Police later took the winds out of his paranoid sails when they said the shot was from a hunter in the area.

You think the claws are out on cable? They’re nothing next to recent bride Ivanka Trump (below, left) and longtime New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams (below, right). Adams published a column the other day in which she went into great detail about Trump’s wedding to Jared Kushner. The column went so far as to describe the chandeliers in the reception tent. No big whoop, the readers reasoned. Adams is always going to high profile events with celebrities. But then, Trump comes forward with a public statement: Not only wasn’t Adams at her wedding, she wasn’t even invited. Adams claimed that Trump had included a marketing flyer for Trump properties in her wedding invitations. Trump says it never happened. Adams says it’s true she didn’t attend, but that many of the guests talked to her afterwards, and several confirmed story about the flyer. The moral of this story is, do not look for Cindy Adams to be a contestant on next season’s “Celebrity “Apprentice.”

And you thought Jon and Kate Gosselin were the couple du jour. Hey, we’ve moved on, right?

5 REASONS SARAH PALIN CANNOT BE PRESIDENT

Nobody seems willing or ready to say it, so I have decided to break the ice: Sarah Palin cannot be President of the United States – in 2012 or any other year. Too much baggage, bad blood, bad press – take your pick. I think we knew this as soon as we saw the Katie Couric interviews, but we were all still willing to lend an ear and hear her out. We have heard her now, and we’ve witnessed the intense drama that seems to naturally surround her. Sarah can’t be the chief. No way. Here are my top five reasons:

1. Senator John McCain is unwilling to commit to giving her his full support. That is probably because he wants to see how things play out in her life, and right now there are a number of sideshows (political and familial) that seem to be distracting her. And the distractions are growing and multiplying. McCain emerged from the 2008 election as a statesman. Statesmen work a lifetime for that status, and why on earth would he compromise his image for Mrs. Palin?

2. Americans do not elect extremists to the office of President. Palin is increasingly revealing a disturbingly radical bent. Most recently she supported Wayne Anthony Ross for Alaska Attorney General. Good old boy Wayne Anthony – National Director of the National Rifle Association and lifelong right to lifer who calls abortion “killing kids" – is one of those off the map right wingers that sort of scare more moderate conservatives. He’s flamboyant. He’s arrogant. His Alaska license plate shows simply his initials – WAR. In the end, Americans prefer order over conflict. In our legislators, we’ll take reason over rancor any day of the week. From what is reported so far of Wayne Anthony, I see nothing more or less than Tom Delay in warmer clothes and snow boots. More significantly, he is the prototype Palin appointee. Mrs. P. cannot rule because we, the people, don’t want reckless fringe types driving the national bus.

3. Remember Troopergate? That was the case of Alaska State Trooper Mike Wooten, Palin’s brother-in-law – the one Mrs. P. tried and failed to have fired. As time goes by, Palin’s initial firm denials of any involvement in the case have become more tepid. The Alaska State Legislature publicly rebuked her. At best, Palin was dishonest. At worst, she abused her power to settle a personal, family score. Either way, Mrs. P. cannot be President because Americans saw her play fast and loose with the truth, and we would prefer someone more truthful as our leader. Moreover, we witnessed how devious she can be in her quest for public survival. We did not like it.

4. Mrs. Palin has family issues, and by issues I mean catastrophes, and by catastrophes I mean insurmountable image problems from all directions. Her own mother-in-law would not even commit to supporting her candidacy. Her husband’s sister was recently arrested for breaking and entering the same house twice. Oh, and did I mention she did so with her four-year-old daughter in tow, as the homeowner hid in the bathroom with a loaded gun. It’s all so trashy, is it not? And then there’s Sherry Johnston, Palin’s “was gonna be son-in-law’s” mother, recently arrested for felony possession and sales of OxyContin. Oh Sarah, Sarah, the company you keep. We can’t have all that riff raff in the White House. We had our Billy Carters way back in the disco era. Never again.

5. Mrs. Palin has issues with the issues, and this time, by issues I mean those elements of our culture which are critical to all of us. Palin, you will recall, charged rape victims for rape kits. She also vetoed a bill that would ban gay marriage, only to turn around and suggest the same ban should be the subject of a constitutional amendment. As it relates to young people and sex, only abstinence is up for discussion in Palin’s world. After the father of her daughter’s child appeared on the Tyra Banks show, Palin publicly accused him of “flat out lies and gross exaggeration:”



The response came so quickly to the press that one is inclined to believe it was nothing more than sheer damage control. And even then, it seemed tardy and disingenuous. The boy also claims he was living in the Palin home, sleeping with Bristol, at the same time her mother was out campaigning for abstinence. Even in the above-mentioned public statement, Palin claims, "Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence.” As late as last week Bristol Palin said abstinence is “not realistic at all.” Mrs. Palin’s stands on the issues seem a bit muddled even in her own home. Throughout the 2008 campaign we never were really clear on where Palin stood on anything other than her opposition to Barack Obama becoming President. A significant segment of the population was left feeling shaky about Sarah Palin’s knowledge of the issues.

Further, for better or for worse, Palin’s down home folksiness – which often felt contrived and unauthentic – simply does not play well in 2009 Washington – even among her fellow Republicans. This week the Senate GOP committee un-invited Palin to be the keynote speaker at a June dinner in Washington, and promptly replaced her – with Newt Gingrich. And McCain’s daughter, Meghan McCain said Thursday, “I really don’t know. I’d have to see who else is on the table,” in response to a question about whether she would support Palin in 2012.

Sarah Palin is only 45 years old. She most likely has decades worth of career years before her and she may achieve some success in the public arena. But Sarah Palin brings way too much baggage to the national table to ever run the whole show.

SARAH PALIN'S GOSH DARN MAD!

Come on. Did you really think Miss Sarah was going to go gently into that cold, snowy Alaska night? Did you truly believe her 15 minutes wouldn't be strategically extended? Recently, Mrs. Palin sat down with documentary filmmaker John Ziegler, to discuss everything from Tina Fey to Bristol and Levi to Katie Couric. And as it turns out, Mrs. P. is mad. Real mad.

My favorite part of this entire piece is this quote from Miss Sarah:
"What is it that drives people to believe the worst and perpetuate the worst, in terms of gossip and lies?"
In the classic cartoon sense, a lightbulb went off in my head. I remembered how Mrs. Palin used one of her campaign stump speeches to badmouth Barack Obama, and to exaggerate his relationship with individuals she referred to as "domestic terrorists." In case you missed it, here's a reminder:



Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. The issues that confront us in America are what Americans care about. We are not interested in how mad you are at everybody. We care about credit card finance charges of up to 30 percent. We care about mortgage companies that refuse to exhaust any other alternatives before foreclosures. We really care about not having health insurance simply because many of us have to choose between food on the table and a possible medical emergency. It is important to us that more than 4,000 Americans are dead because of an administration that could not wait to get all the facts before invading a country that did not merit our aggression. We are scared of a national unemployment rate that appears to be approaching eight percent, the highest level since 1945. Perhaps the next time you feel like pontificating, it could be about something....anything other than how mean and nasty the media are, and how unfairly you were portrayed to the public. Perhaps this could be your last meaningless exchange with an interviewer: